What is this....

Beautiful !!!

I couldnt contain the overwhelming thump of my heart when I came so close to him. I admired him from a distance all this time - never once crossing the boundaries I set up for myself. And to come so close to him - chance again - is just beyond words.

I could never bear him to look upon me - I think I just dont deserve a glance from him - He is just so beautiful. I feel so small... so pathetically inferior to him that I just want to bury myself before I could ever show myself and today ------ I stood so close to him... my world was spinning around me... my heart beat was elevated to the level that it could burst.... God knows how much effort it took just to stand there.

I'm still so cold.... so dampened by these emotions - I dont even know what they are.

What is this....

What is this.... Why does my heart flutter so much at just the thought of him. Since the day I saw him - he is not constantly on my mind - but he's never off the grid. I pray to God at every thought of him - to not let me face him. I love being a spectator to him as long as he doesnt know my existence. Is this what admiration is???? may be ... Am I a secret admirer? yeah may be... yet I make every effort to never cross paths with him. Sometimes I get lucky to just watch him from a distance - oh I could just sit and stare for an eternity if thats possible!

I'm still dazed - it was an hour ago... I'm still smiling... What is this....

I run away from the sheer thought of ever coming face to face with him - I may never utter a word. I still pray to God - fervently - never to cross our paths - I dont want him to ever know about my existence at all... but no thanks to chance - I got introducted to him. Something I was dreading since the moment I first saw him and it happens now... I pray to God that this be the last that we ever meet. This be the last ever we utter a word to each other.

You're right... I'm still dazed and I'm still smiling!!!

Mythology... and my thoughts!!

Its amazing to know there are so many varied version of evolution of civilizations... Every civilization tends to proclaim its the oldest one. We indians are no less.. We say Indus Valley Civilization is the most ancient one. Its surprising how all the "so called ancient civilizations" have evolved near about the same time...

I have started reading the book called "The Krishna Key" by Ashwin Sanghi. Its a fiction based on Mahabharata and the recent findings that are out to prove that Dwaparayuga and the happenings are just not fictitious. There is a phrase which says...

"Lack of evidence does not mean lack of existence "

To the modern man this does not hold true always. We need evidence to know if something has really existed. I know many of us are interested to know if our spiritual history (the epics like Ramayana & Mahabharata) has existed or it is only confined to scriptures found.... Now the question is how do we know?

1. Through the scribes and the scriptures ( We dont have the time to invest on reading history)

2. Any remains of the history.... (we have scarcely found any...and of the found evidences, thanks to the scientists for denying any spiritual backgrounds to them eg: Ramasethu..the bridge between India - Srilanka called Adam's Bridge)

3. Waiting for someone to research on it (too many researches, too many hypotheses, result? "Ambiguity")

I feel that its time we tried taking sometime out to read our ancient scriptures and try knowing it for ourselves. Its difficult and ofcourse there's nothing you would gain out of it. But its for that interest's sake. Its for the satisfaction and true devotion to God, next time your join your hands in prayer.

More on this to follow in my next posts... signing off for now!!

Shweta Momula